South Asian Heritage Month – Letter to the next generation
Ketan Davé is the Equity, Diversity and Belonging Lead at RCOT.
As a British South Asian, he is passionate about celebrating heritage, identity and belonging, and creating spaces where people feel able to bring their whole selves.
This piece was inspired by conversations with his daughters about family, culture and what we pass from one generation to the next.
What I hope you inherit
Dear Next Generation
This South Asian Heritage Month, I’ve been thinking about inheritance. Not the kind that comes with documents, deeds or family heirlooms. The quieter kind.
The things that are passed from one generation to the next without anyone ever sitting us down to explain them.
This letter was inspired by the many conversations I’ve had with my daughters over the years. Like so many children, they asked questions about who we are, where we come from and why we do the things we do. Their questions made me realise that every generation is trying to understand the same thing. Who am I?
So, if you’re reading this as a young South Asian, this letter is for you.
I hope you never confuse explaining your culture with apologising for it. There is a difference.
You are growing up in a world that will often ask you to explain yourself. Where does your name come from? What language do you speak? Where are you really from? Why do you celebrate that festival? Why don’t you eat this?
Some of those questions will come from genuine curiosity. Others may leave you wondering whether you somehow need to justify who you are. I hope you never confuse explaining your culture with apologising for it. There is a difference.
You have inherited something extraordinary. Not because South Asia is better than anywhere else, but because it is home to an extraordinary richness of languages, faiths, cultures, traditions and histories. There isn’t one South Asian story. There are millions.
Some of those stories will belong to your family. Some will belong to your community. Some you will discover for yourself. Take the time to find them.
You will see the world differently from your parents and grandparents, just as they saw it differently from the generations before them.
Ask your parents and grandparents about their childhoods while you still can. Ask about the place they grew up. Ask about the journey that brought your family here. Ask about the traditions they kept and the ones they left behind. One day, those conversations won’t be possible, and you’ll wish you had asked one more question.
Heritage is about much more than food and festivals. It’s found in family stories. In values. In everyday traditions. In words that don’t quite translate into English. In the way your family celebrates, comforts, welcomes and remembers.
Not everything has to be carried forward. Every generation changes. You will see the world differently from your parents and grandparents, just as they saw it differently from the generations before them. That’s not something to fear. It’s how cultures continue to evolve.
But before you decide what to leave behind, take the time to understand it. Most of all, never feel you must make yourself smaller to make someone else feel more comfortable. Your name is part of your story. Your heritage is part of your story. Your family’s journey is part of your story. None of those things need an apology.
You may hear people talk as though being proudly South Asian and proudly British are somehow in conflict. I hope you never accept that. Your heritage and your nationality do not compete with one another. They simply tell different parts of your story.
There is one more thing I hope you inherit. Confidence.
The confidence to be yourself without feeling you need to edit your identity to make someone else more comfortable. The confidence to talk about your heritage naturally, without feeling you must explain it away or defend it. And the confidence to be just as interested in other people's stories as you hope they will be in yours.
Confidence isn't about believing your culture is better than anyone else's. It's about knowing that your story has value, just as theirs does. When we are comfortable in our own identity, it becomes much easier to celebrate the identities of others. That is where unity begins.
You may hear people talk as though being proudly South Asian and proudly British are somehow in conflict. I hope you never accept that. Your heritage and your nationality do not compete with one another. They simply tell different parts of your story.
You don’t have to choose between them. You can be proudly South Asian. You can be proudly British. You can be both, completely and unapologetically.
Be curious about your own story. Be just as curious about everyone else’s. The more we learn about one another, the more we realise that difference isn’t something to fear. It’s something to value.
That is what this year’s South Asian Heritage Month theme, Unity in Diversity, means to me.
Not becoming the same. Not leaving parts of ourselves behind. But recognising that our different stories make all of us richer.
One day, someone younger than you will ask the same questions you’re asking today. When they do, I hope you’ll have stories to tell. Because one day, you won’t just inherit your family’s story. You’ll become part of it.
Our sincere thanks to Ket for sharing this piece.
If you'd like to get more engaged in equity, diversity and belonging (EDB) conversations taking place in the OT community, join one or more of our EDB networks on RCOT Communities.